


A Most Ridiculous Subject

by cordeliadelayne



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Divination, Drunken Shenanigans, First Kiss, Kissing, Matchmaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 08:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4698782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordeliadelayne/pseuds/cordeliadelayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Madame Trelawney plays unwitting matchmaker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Most Ridiculous Subject

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the ever so lovely lore who gave the prompt “divination”. Set during POA. Originally posted to Livejournal in 2009.

“I don’t know why anyone even bothers with it,” Snape grumbled into his breakfast. Lupin raised an eyebrow over the Daily Prophet, but remained silent. “It’s all make believe and nonsense.”

“Yet she has been right on occasion, hasn’t she, my dear boy?” Dumbledore enquired, voice deceptively soft.

Snape glared at him before taking a vigorous bite of toast.

“And now I must leave you for an important meeting at the Ministry.” And with that Dumbledore was gone, waving to the students as he left.

Several other of the teachers also took the opportunity to leave the Great Hall and Lupin sidled along until he was sitting next to Snape. Snape twisted his mouth into a sneer but was stopped from saying anything by the continuing approach of Madame Trelawney.

“I told you,” she said, pointing first at Snape and then at a bemused Lupin. “I told you.”

“Told him what?” Lupin asked eagerly.

Snape stood up rapidly, knocking his chair to the floor; every child in the hall swivelled towards him.

Teeth clenched together, he silently stormed out.

Lupin turned to Trelawney for an explanation but she had already turned away, muttering, “I told him,” under her breath.

#####

Later that day Lupin was walking down one of the corridors towards the library when he heard Trelawney’s distinctive voice in front of him. Not particularly wanting to talk to the professor of Divination right now he slowed and was just about to turn around and get to the library by a less direct route when Snape’s voice stopped him short.

“I have already told you, _Professor,_ that I am not interested in Lupin.”

Lupin ducked behind a handily placed statue and settled down to listen.

“The crystal ball never lies, Severus. You and Lupin are destined to be together.”

“That is preposterous! He doesn’t even like me.” Lupin heard the sharp intake of breath as Snape realised what he had just said and smiled as Snape continued. “And I certainly don’t like that imbecile.”

Lupin peered around the corner of the statue and watched a flustered looking Snape storming off.

“Never lies!” Trelawney cried after him, to which a sharp hand gesture was the only reply.

#####

The castle was eerily quiet. All the children were asleep and the only sounds were the soft crackle of the fireplaces and the occasional settling of armour.

Snape was distractedly marking, but his heart wasn’t in it; even writing FAIL in large red letters on Harry Potter’s pathetic attempt at an essay wasn’t enough to cheer him up. With an annoyed sigh he got up and went over to his small collection of alcoholic drinks. Before he had managed to decide what he wanted, however, there was a knock at the door.

He didn’t move, hoping that whoever it was would just go away, but they were proving stubbornly resistant to his silent pleas.

“What?” he snapped as he opened the door.

“Is that how you treat all your guests?” Lupin asked. Before Snape could reply Lupin was barging into the room.

“I don’t recall asking you in,” Snape growled futilely.

He watched, hand still holding the door open, as Lupin opened the bottle of wine he had brought with him and proceeded to pour out two glasses.

“I’ll just sit here, shall I?” Lupin asked. He sat in one of the comfier chairs by the fire. “This really is surprisingly homely.”

Snape was so astonished that it took him a good few seconds to realise that he was still standing at the door. He slammed it shut and with an annoyed glare at the paperwork he still had to complete, found himself sitting opposite Lupin and accepted the proffered glass of wine.

“Cheers!” Lupin said.

Almost automatically Snape took a disdainful sip of wine. Then he frowned and took a larger sampling. Not only was it a very good vintage, it was his favourite.

“What, exactly, is the meaning of this?” Snape asked. Reluctantly he put his glass down on the side table and stared at Lupin.

Lupin at least had the grace to fidget under the glare.

“Well, I was thinking about what Trelawney said…”

Snape snorted. “I see your judgement of character hasn’t improved since our school days.”

Lupin ignored him. “And I wanted to see if, well…” He paused and fiddled anxiously with a fraying edge on his jacket. “To see if she’s right.”

“She usually isn’t,” Snape drawled.

“But sometimes she is,” Lupin persisted.

To Snape’s incredulity Lupin then proceeded to down his glass of wine in one hurried gulp.

“Lupin -”

“Shut up,” Lupin replied.

“I -”

But Snape’s torrent of abuse was forestalled by Lupin standing up and then purposefully grabbing hold of Snape’s hand.

“Where’s your bedroom?”

“Where’s my –? Have you completely lost leave or your senses?” Snape pulled out his wand and performed a quick spell, but apparently magic wasn’t the cause for Lupin’s strange behaviour.

Lupin just smiled. “You’re here, I’m here. And neither of us is getting any younger -”

Snape stood up and placed a hand against Lupin’s forehead. “You don’t appear to have a fever…”

Lupin batted Snape’s hand away and then pulled him forward into a kiss. It didn’t last long as Lupin was feeling a little light-headed, not having eaten since breakfast, and Snape’s reaction was to push the other man away from him as hard as he could.

#####

Lupin groaned. He couldn’t remember exactly what had happened but he had the feeling he had well and truly embarrassed himself.

He opened his right eye and realised that things were even worse than he had thought. He was in an amazingly comfortable bed, which just happened to be in the dungeons.

He slowly opened his left eye and then winced. Snape was lying next to him on the bed, fully dressed, and snoring softly.

Lupin closed both eyes again, sincerely hoping that he was dreaming.

“We didn’t do anything, if that’s what’s concerning you.”

Lupin turned towards Snape, realising there was really no escape. “I’d only be concerned if I’d missed out on our first night together.”

Snape raised an eyebrow. “Why do you persist in taking credence in Trelawney’s ramblings?”

But this time, when Lupin kissed Snape to shut him up, Snape responded, hand snaking around Lupin’s neck and gently pulling him forward. But as Snape’s fingers slid into Lupin’s hair, Lupin cringed and pulled back.

“Ah, yes,” Snape replied as Lupin examined his head and discovered a large bump. “You hit it on the table when I – um…”

Lupin smiled. He’d never have thought that Severus Snape, of all people, could look so endearing as he did now, with a flustered colour to his normally sallow cheeks.

“Divination is still a ridiculous subject,” Snape scowled.

“Yes, dear,” Lupin replied. Then he pulled an extremely compliant Snape under the covers, where he intended to keep him for the rest of the morning.

And many more after that.


End file.
